tick....tock

tick tock....the clock is ticking...it seems like just yesterday i was a freshman in college thinking i knew what it was i wanted to do with my life....now im a senior and im am now more of a lost soul than i ever was. Im still trying to find my purpose and my place in this world that will leave me being happy and useful. Readers.....is your clock ticking too....or have you always known what you want to do...?

LGBT

i will never understand the reservations people have with LGBT(lesbians, gays,bisexuals and transgenders)!!! Some say that you are born that way and others say that you are conformed or persuaded by who you are around. Some people even believe its the work of the devil. Now everyone is entitled to their own opinion but some just dont seem to be legit! In some form its like a form of racism. Love is the single most important thing in this world and if someone falls in love with someone of the same sex...it should be the same as if someone was falling in love with the opposite sex!

Confusion

Grow up, go to college, get an internship, get a job, get married, raise a family.......being raised with the mentality that this is how your life should go can confuse someone. What if its not meant for someone to do one of these things. Parents usually have a heavy influence on how their children choose a path, but not in all cases. Parents can brainwash you into doing what they want you to do for their own selfish wants. But then wanting to make your parents proud can make you do things that you really dont want to do. So what do we do? Go with what you know will make your parents proud, or do what you really want to do and in the back of your mind know that it will upset them. If they really love you they will be happy with what ever makes you happy right...isn't that how it should be?

Lost in my mind

im lost in my mind.....an ocean full of thoughts...sleeping seems the only way to be released from this state....how do i get found....i need answers? When people choose a path for their lives do you follow it or stray from it? Whats the answer to that question? I often wonder what the percentage is for people who make a plan about how their life should go and then follow that plan....is it meant for us to even have a plan or just live life day to day with out not even an inkling of an an idea how it may turn out. I once had a plan and a dream and when it didnt turn out the way i had planned i was left out in the cold alone. So from then on i wondered how others in the world act in the same setting. Does God have a plan for each individual or does each individual have a plan for themselves. This i dont know and i dont know if anyone knows. So in the mean time im lost in my mind trying to figure out my place. A place to belong that feels right and comfortable. With the world evolving daily how do you succumb to the pressures of society and the norm of how things should be....hows should things be?

One Dimensional

being consumed of a lifetime dedication to one thing....then to have it ripped from you...DO NOT be one dimensional towards anything in life or confusion will run all up and through your interior and exterior because of the decision you made to focus on just that one thing...now in this day and age life is set up for you to do or be anything...to try lots and lots and to especially not be limited to one thing...because when that one thing does not work out...your left stranded in a world of everything that could have been when really what could have been is everything in this world.....


....i focused on one thing my whole life...then it ended that one night i decided to call it quits...i was then lost... too lost...wishing i had then tried so many other things... i regret being so one dimensional...my lesson has been learned....yours should be too... now!

the words i can't say

what do i do with the words i can't say, hold on to them in, say them....or do i shout them out....what about whisper....write a song with them....the words i cant say allow me to remain silent....present a facade to the world....you see i don't want to speak up and appear a certain way...so there are words i can't say...when will the time come to speak up or will the silence remain in destitute...the words i can't say are better written down....writing allows the words i can't say to be spoken...i repeat WRITING ALLOWS THE WORDS I CAN'T SAY TO BE SPOKEN...read what i'm saying is to hear it as well.....you will always be able to read the words i can't say....you will always be able to hear me if you just read~

Numb

IM NUMB......i dont know how im feeling...what is this a product of....the feelings running through my blood are what...of sadness...disappointment...anger...bitterness...taking charge of ones life is done how with support or independently...not knowing what the future of the next five minutes to the next five years might hold....being pulled in one direction...only to be yanked in the other....growing up is scary for some...forced for others...scary because the transition from adolescence to adulthood can consume you before your ready....forced because the luxury to have a transition may not be there....being forced may be what kept you alive and going.....numb feelings are a plethora of emotions that are not understood...not knowing where to put them....when to let them show or when to hide them....how do i feel right now can you tell me how im suppose to feel???....how is the person standing in front of you suppose to feel is their situation worthy of sustaining emotion or numbness....Being numb plays a part in our lives that speaks for not knowing how to feel....not understanding how we feel...not knowing what feeling is taking over at the time....So i ask you....are you happy, sad, mad, bitter, angry????....whatever you say...are you sure thats it...or are you just Numb!